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Top Ten Reasons Blogging is Like Sex

11. At first, you’re just blogging once every week or two, but it’s not long before you’re doing it a couple of times a day.
10. A lot of kids fool around with blogs in high school but the serious blogging doesn’t start until college.
9. People really only have one good entry at a time, but will often fake multiple entries because they think it makes their readers happy.
8. It hurts when you’ve blogged and the next day your readers pretend like it never happened.
7. You know better than to blog when you’re drunk, but it’s just more fun, even if you do it with topics you wouldn’t have touched when you were sober.
6. The day after you’ve blogged drunk, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do to your regular readers.
5. Men blog like they’ve got an audience, but women like to keep it intimate.
4. You have to vary your technique once in a while, otherwise your readers will lose interest and you’ll drift apart.
3. When you first start to blog, you don’t ever have any long term readers but all you can ever think about is blogging. After a while, you do find some regular readers, but then blogging becomes a chore and you start to feel guilty if it’s been a while.
2. Most people blog at night, in the privacy of their own homes, but there’s always some jackass strutting around bragging that he prefers to blog in the office at lunch or at the local park.
1. Everyone knows that if he ever did in fact blog in his office or in the park, he was alone and just blogging into his palm.
©2006 Pipedreamergrey

Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage Must be Illegal

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Men always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed, like many of the principles on which this great country was founded: women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour, just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry, because our orphanages aren’t full yet and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society, and we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.