Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.

If you were a phaser, you’d be set on “stunning.”

Your eyes are even bluer than the water in my toilet.

You’d look like Venus de Milo If I just cut off your arms

Girl, you must be Jamaican, because ya makin’ me crazy.

Well, how’d you get through security? ‘Cause baby, you’re the bomb.

You’re absolutely perfect. Don’t speak now, you might spoil it.

My love for you’s like diarrhea: I just can’t hold it in.

You’re so hot, you’re gonna melt the elastic in my underwear.

I don’t have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?